Into the light

So, despite all the wonderful things happening in my life lately, I have found myself in a bit of a slump. Having a short temper, being easily frustrated even angered and just plain feeling low. I questioned many times why I have felt that way and wasn't able to pinpoint it, becoming even more frustrated in the process. During a blessed conversation in the park last Sunday morning, my precious soon-to-be husband, in his loving concern sought me out, inquired into what might be causing it. We discussed the feelings I had, fear, unworthiness, laziness, lack of confidence. We discussed our current growth in the Lord and learning to accept challenges that come our way in an effort to be more fruitful for His kingdom. We discussed the example of a married couple near and dear to us that faithfully serve the Lord and how we have learned and grown through their example. As we contninued to discuss the things of the Lord and His word, the hard, stubborn pieces in my heart started to chip and fall away and I began feeling a sense of cleansing and release. The dark cloud within my heart was melting away in the presence of God's warming light. That same Sunday, Jason and I went to our newly/nearly wed bible study class and the topic of discussion was "how to help each other grow". We combed through Psalm 119 and I had one of those familiar moments of feeling like the lesson was purposed for me***. God's message to me was that I was loved and that my time in the darkness was over. All I can say now is thank God for the timelessness of His word and his many faithful ones who understand that fact. For by hearing his word and through their faithfulness, diligence and service to the Lord, I recognize that my lack of joy and inspiration has been a result of not having quality time with my Father and thus not being filled with His spirit which is all things good. I was cutting myself off from the source of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and therefore not reflecting them in my attitude and actions towards others.

***Verses assinged to my group to read***
Psalm 119: 25-32
I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word. I recounted my ways and you answered me; teach me your decrees. Let me understand the teaching of your precepts; then I will meditate on your wonders. My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me through your law. I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws. I hold fast to your statutes, O Lord; do not let me be put to shame. I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.