The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Tagged

My best friend, Wendy, tagged me today... Here goes!

What Were You Doing 10 Years Ago?
Packing up to go to A&M

Things On My To-Do List Today:
Go to the bank, exchange wrong jewelry for right jewelry for my bridesmaids, make dinner for and spend time with my fiance :)

What Are Some Snacks You Enjoy?
sargento string cheese, lemon yogurt with fresh cut strawberries, tomato basil sunchips

What Would You Do If You Were A Millionaire?
Pay off all debt(school loans ugh), give it away to those in need!

Name Some Of The Places You Have Called Home:
Dallas, College Station, Houston

What Are Some Of Your Bad Habits?
Being a pessimist, road rage :(

What Are Some Jobs You Have Held:
Physician Assistant in Family Medicine, MD Anderson ICU, Family Medicine again...

Who Are You Tagging?
Wendy

And the best is yet to come

At age 15, I began to pray that God would make me into a Godly woman and wife. Little did I know that that would lead to a thirteen year dating journey of hill climbs and pitfalls, blind sides and head-on collisions, feast and famine, detours and dead ends... But with each bump, scrape and bruise (as I wittingly refer to my exes ;) I got tougher and softer, smarter and wiser and learned to smooth out the rough edges... And then came Jason :).

Now focused, centered and prepared, I was running my race, patient, hopeful, confident and steady when Jason eased along side me and seemed to be keeping the same pace. I felt different about him and about how I felt with him. He was pure, kind, gentle, natural and I was so peaceful and excited with him. My heart beat fast and I got such a warmth inside when I heard from him or got to be around him. Little by little, the good Lord revealed Jason's unwaivering character, his steadfastness, his strength and his joy. He had such a light from within that I just had never experienced in any man or relationship before. Cautiously optimistic was I, remembering the experience of times past, but trusting in the Good Lord's timing and plan. Jason and I climbed a few hills, landed in some pitfalls, discovered our blind sides and even had a few collisions... but each time, we turned our hearts, our relationship and our hope to Him above and each time discovered something greater... That our experiences, the good and the bad helped us learn more about ourselves, one another and how we work as a couple... and we work so unquestionably well, which is why we are planning and preparing to commit our lives on earth to one another. I am eternally grateful for having the privilege and opportunity to spend my life with such a Godly man, ever growing, evolving and changing. My prayer is to grow in love, serve in love and cherish one another in love as Christ to His church throughout our days on earth.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

Into the light

So, despite all the wonderful things happening in my life lately, I have found myself in a bit of a slump. Having a short temper, being easily frustrated even angered and just plain feeling low. I questioned many times why I have felt that way and wasn't able to pinpoint it, becoming even more frustrated in the process. During a blessed conversation in the park last Sunday morning, my precious soon-to-be husband, in his loving concern sought me out, inquired into what might be causing it. We discussed the feelings I had, fear, unworthiness, laziness, lack of confidence. We discussed our current growth in the Lord and learning to accept challenges that come our way in an effort to be more fruitful for His kingdom. We discussed the example of a married couple near and dear to us that faithfully serve the Lord and how we have learned and grown through their example. As we contninued to discuss the things of the Lord and His word, the hard, stubborn pieces in my heart started to chip and fall away and I began feeling a sense of cleansing and release. The dark cloud within my heart was melting away in the presence of God's warming light. That same Sunday, Jason and I went to our newly/nearly wed bible study class and the topic of discussion was "how to help each other grow". We combed through Psalm 119 and I had one of those familiar moments of feeling like the lesson was purposed for me***. God's message to me was that I was loved and that my time in the darkness was over. All I can say now is thank God for the timelessness of His word and his many faithful ones who understand that fact. For by hearing his word and through their faithfulness, diligence and service to the Lord, I recognize that my lack of joy and inspiration has been a result of not having quality time with my Father and thus not being filled with His spirit which is all things good. I was cutting myself off from the source of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and therefore not reflecting them in my attitude and actions towards others.

***Verses assinged to my group to read***
Psalm 119: 25-32
I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word. I recounted my ways and you answered me; teach me your decrees. Let me understand the teaching of your precepts; then I will meditate on your wonders. My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me through your law. I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws. I hold fast to your statutes, O Lord; do not let me be put to shame. I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.